Oh, man! Don Henley? Really? Oh, what fools these mortals be! What kind of crack are you smoking?* Have you learned anything? It looks like it's time for another head-to-head challenge! It...is...ON!
"Try not to wet your pants, Henley!"
"Try not to wet your pants, Henley!"
"Too late."Dio was in the greatest hard rock band of all time: Dio. Henley was in the Eagles. The EAGLES, fer crissakes! The worst band of all time! Everytime we hear that "Hotel California" start up, we pray that there's a God so that He will go back in time and prevent this song from ever being written!*** Downright awful. I shouldn't have to even go on, but I will!
You see that picture of him, pensively chewing on his glasses? This is a rocker to you? Maybe if I drove a Volvo! But, I don't!**** So that's not a rocker!
Don Henley used to play in a country band with Kenny Rogers! Kenny Rogers is the epitome of all that is wrong in music today! Dio used to play in a blues based, Tolkien inspired band in the sixties! Blues vs. Country, I know that this might be a tough one if you had never heard music before. But, since I know you have, we all know the answer!
Dio sings about mythological beasts and S.C.U.B.A.***** diving priests! Henley likes to sing about little boys in summer. He likes to see them in shorts, I guess. Pervert!
Don Henley had a song making fun of him recorded by a great band. What'd he do? He wound up on stage singing with them. Ok, we admit that's cool and give him his props! But, Dio had a song written about him and he appeared on the band's next album and in their movie! That totally blows Henley out of the water!
Dio's greatest hits album: The Very Beast of Dio. That's 'Beast,' not 'Best.' That ain't no typo! Nothing could rock harder than that! Don Henley: Actual Miles. Actual Miles? Aren't 'actual miles' less than what's advertised? He admits up front that his song's are less than good! Rocks harder: Dio!
So, there you have it. Another head-to-head challenge which clearly shows the greatness that is Dio! You can keep saying you like Don Henley if you like perverted, raspy-voiced, country music!
*The strong kind it would seem.
**Do not read this footnote!
***Further proof of God's non-existence!
****I drive a Nissan Sentra!
*****Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus
You see that picture of him, pensively chewing on his glasses? This is a rocker to you? Maybe if I drove a Volvo! But, I don't!**** So that's not a rocker!
Don Henley used to play in a country band with Kenny Rogers! Kenny Rogers is the epitome of all that is wrong in music today! Dio used to play in a blues based, Tolkien inspired band in the sixties! Blues vs. Country, I know that this might be a tough one if you had never heard music before. But, since I know you have, we all know the answer!
Dio sings about mythological beasts and S.C.U.B.A.***** diving priests! Henley likes to sing about little boys in summer. He likes to see them in shorts, I guess. Pervert!
Don Henley had a song making fun of him recorded by a great band. What'd he do? He wound up on stage singing with them. Ok, we admit that's cool and give him his props! But, Dio had a song written about him and he appeared on the band's next album and in their movie! That totally blows Henley out of the water!
Dio's greatest hits album: The Very Beast of Dio. That's 'Beast,' not 'Best.' That ain't no typo! Nothing could rock harder than that! Don Henley: Actual Miles. Actual Miles? Aren't 'actual miles' less than what's advertised? He admits up front that his song's are less than good! Rocks harder: Dio!
So, there you have it. Another head-to-head challenge which clearly shows the greatness that is Dio! You can keep saying you like Don Henley if you like perverted, raspy-voiced, country music!
*The strong kind it would seem.
**Do not read this footnote!
***Further proof of God's non-existence!
****I drive a Nissan Sentra!
*****Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus
