Get To Know: Rock Gods!

It's time for us to learn again. This time we're dipping into the great Black Sabbath and the guiding voice of early (pre-Dio) Black Sabbath. No not him, but his childhood friend, the true ruler of Black Sabbath, 'Geezer' Butler.

First of all, Geezer's not his real name. It's what is called a nickname. But, it's a pretty cool one. Geezer. Geezer rocks!

Look at that picture. Doesn't he kind of look like Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap? Wouldn't be surprised if he was the visual inspiration for the character. He looked even more like Smalls back in the day, but this was the best pic I could find.

Geezer was the bassist for Black Sabbath. Not only that, he wrote most of the lyrics. All you fools who thought that Ozzy was the be all end all were wrong! Geezer's the man with the occult fetish. He wrote the song 'Black Sabbath' that the band named themselves for!

He has one of the best pedigree's that any metal musician could hope for. He is, are you ready for this?, the seventh son of a seventh son! Yeah, pretty cool right? But check this: he was also born on July 17, '49. That's 7/17/7x7. Holy shit! That's a lot of sevens! Are your minds' blown? Mine is! Did I mention his name is Geezer?

Geezer also did strange, unnatural things with his bass. First, he wah-wah'd it. Pretty original for a bassist at the time. Then he dropped the tuning. The damn thing just wasn't low enough for him! "How low can I go?" is what he used to say!*

Geezer also had the foresight to kick out his good friend Ozzy when the man was just too loaded to be profitable anymore and brought in Dio. And, you know what, I think he was holding back on those Ozzy songs, cause I think he rocked even harder with Dio!**

Geezer is also a vegan proving to one and all that you don't have to eat meat or drink milk to rock hard!***

In preparing this post, I came across this quote from our man Geez,

"I thought that Dehumanizer was a particularly brutal**** album, because Ronnie came in. You see, Tony wouldn't do any of the stuff that I was writing, but Ronnie came in and listened to all of the stuff I was doing and he insisted on doing my stuff as well as Tony's stuff. It was like a breakthrough! Then Cross Purposes came and Tony Martin (current Sabbath vocalist) - who hates all heavy music - came in and said, 'you can't do that, it sounds like Pantera!'"

See how great and egalitarian Dio is. He's like Solomon! "You two are fighting over whose songs we do, we'll do them all! And they'll rock!" Plus, Dio ruined Geezer for any other singer that came after him! Ruined him so much, they're currently out touring again! Take that Ozzy!

*Not really. I just made that up.
**Never Say Die! any one?
***It helps though.
**** In a good way.

Dio And Me!

It may seem to many of you that I have always loved Dio. But, no, this is not true! It took me many years of personal and professional growth to be able to truly appreciate the greatness that is Dio! I once lamented the fact that I have not always realized how great he truly is, but a man said to me, "Now was the right time for you to appreciate Dio!" Or something like that.

So, what made me go from wincing whenever a Dio video or song came on to anticipating such an event? While the answer is really a heroic journey since my youth, one special piece of the puzzle is Tenacious D.

Now, I love me some Tenacious D. I find their music good, and their humor, well, humorous. (This is not really a post about Tenacious D, but I find them mocking just about everything on every level with their humor). On their first album, they have a song entitled Dio, which is about Dio passing on his musical greatness to The D, now that he's old and can't rock anymore. I hated this song, and would often pass over it on the cd. I didn't like the lyrics, the music, or the joke. And Dio sucked! (or so I then thought).

Since that time, I would often see Dio videos on VH1 Classic (the only place to see videos on tv), and slowly grow to appreciate his dramatic flair. But, still, I did not care for the man or his music.

Tenacious D then released an album soundtrack to their movie The Pick Of Destiny. On the first track, Meatloaf, the supposedly great, bombastic singer sings a verse or two and he absolutely bites! He sounds like an old, tired man who couldn't sing without several hits of oxygen. Then, a verse or two later on comes RJ himself, playing, as only he could, himself! The lyrics are tricky, and the song is good, and Dio sings fantastically! The lyrics are well understood, but fast and with high quality. I was overwhelmed with just how good this man could still sing. It was amazing especially compared to the waste that was Meatloaf! I listened to this verse several times to really get a feel for the man's talent.

And ever since, I've know that Ronnie James Dio is the only true Rock God!

Get To Know: Rock Gods!

Ritchie Blackmore

If all Ritchie Blackmore did was found Rainbow and have the foresight to allow the greatness which is Dio flow, he would have earned his status as a Rock God. But, no, he also formed Deep Purple! Who is Deep Purple? They had a little song called Smoke On The Water, maybe you've heard of it? Any song that has lyrics about Frank Zappa, and still becomes a worldwide hit, is a pretty good song. Plus, that riff is unforgettable:

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!

See, unforgetable!

He's also a great guitarist! Seems like his old man threatened him with regular beatings with his guitar if he didn't learn that guitar.* I think that's what he's about to do in this picture. Don't cross Blackmore, or he'll use his deadly GUITAR ATTACK!

Nowadays, Blackmore took a lesson from Dio himself, and started a band with his name in it**, Blackmore's Night! They probably rock as only an ex-associate of Dio can!

That's really all I know about Ritchie Blackmore, so I'll talk more about Dio! Dio's real name isn't Dio! It's Ronald James Padavona! Can you believe it? His real name is almost as cool as Dio.*** Padavona. That's a pretty name! But, nothing hits you as hard as DIO!

*Take that B.F. Skinner!
**I know Rainbow was originally Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow, but that had to change once the public got a full dose of Dio!
***I said, almost.

Supermegawinwood?

It seems that some people believe Steve Winwood (god help us) is a truer rock god than Dio, the man himself. It looks like it's time for a head-to-head challenge!

"I challenge you to a head-to-head challenge, Steve Winwood!"

"Please don't hurt me Mr. Dio, Sir!"

Look at Dio. He's on the attack! He's gonna attack you with his Rock!* Now, look at little Stevie Winwood. Laid back. Do those suspenders look like rock suspenders? Not on your life!

Say their names out loud. Dio. Dio! DIO!!! (don't be afraid to shout!) Can't you feel the majesty and the power? And now, Winwood. Winwood! WINWOOD!!! Even when you shout it, it screams wimp. Dio's name is a name meant to be shouted! Winwood's sounds like a type of orchestral musical instrument. That's no way to rock! Officially: Lame!

Dio: American! Winwood: English. USA! USA! USA!

Steve Winwood's first album with his name on the cover is a solo album, right? Well Dio named his whole damned band Dio! This wasn't no solo album. The band's name was Dio! If you were in Dio, you were in Dio! If you played on Steve Winwood's solo album, that's all you did, you played with Stevie Winwood. You weren't in Winwood, you just played with him.** And just go ahead and try to get your band to name themselves after you.***

These are some highly cogent arguments to the vast superiority of Dio over Winwood, and it's sad that in this day and age that I even had to do this, despite some admittedly strong rhyming skills of Winwuss (heh, heh). But, I'll close my argument with this:

Vs.

I rest my case.

*I said Rock.

**I know. I know.

***I still say Wayne Bass & the Fishhooks is a great band name!

Get To Know: Rock Gods!

Some would think this should've been the first 'Get To Know' feature, but we here at SUPERMEGADIO!!!!! assumed you all knew the greatness of Dio! Turns out, we were wrong! So, without further ado, the first GTK: Rock Gods!:

DIO!!!!!

Dio Wants You...To Rock!*

Dio rocks. Hard. This is obvious to anyone with rock based neurons. I already mentioned his awesome and unprecedented rhyming abilities. But, I think I'm getting ahead of myself, as I haven't explained who he is exactly.

Dio is the lead singer of four, that's right, FOUR, awesome hard rock bands! Not only that, they are the four greatest bands ever! What are they? In order of awesomeness: Dio (yep, named after the man himself!), Black Sabbath, Rainbow, and Elf**.

And you know those devil horns people are always flashing trying to look badass? Well, Dio invented that! He invented a hand gesture! Noone else can claim that! Every other well-known hand gestures' inventors are lost to the mists of time, but not the Metal Devil Horns! Dio did that.

Dio is also timeless. How do I mean this? Noone knows how old he is, not even Dio himself! My theory is that Dio travels through time fighting dragons and demons and stuff, rocking hard the whole time! Of course his age is unknown! That also explains how his singing is not just as good as it used to be, it's better!

Someone once said that Dio's music is better without the visuals from his videos. This person is clearly delusional and knows nothing about anything! Dio's video's are mini-masterpieces that only highlight his greatness. He uses a fantastic acting style that relies only on body movements which makes sense as there is no dialogue. I call it 'over-emoting!' And Dio over-emotes like only a true rock god can!

So, there you have it, a good summary of Dio's greatness! Never doubt, Dio truly is a rock god without equal!

*Photo from allmusicguide

**I've never actually heard any Elf, but with Dio at the helm, it must rock hard!