Thursday, February 22, 2007

Get To Know: Rock Gods!

Some would think this should've been the first 'Get To Know' feature, but we here at SUPERMEGADIO!!!!! assumed you all knew the greatness of Dio! Turns out, we were wrong! So, without further ado, the first GTK: Rock Gods!:

DIO!!!!!

Dio Wants You...To Rock!*

Dio rocks. Hard. This is obvious to anyone with rock based neurons. I already mentioned his awesome and unprecedented rhyming abilities. But, I think I'm getting ahead of myself, as I haven't explained who he is exactly.

Dio is the lead singer of four, that's right, FOUR, awesome hard rock bands! Not only that, they are the four greatest bands ever! What are they? In order of awesomeness: Dio (yep, named after the man himself!), Black Sabbath, Rainbow, and Elf**.

And you know those devil horns people are always flashing trying to look badass? Well, Dio invented that! He invented a hand gesture! Noone else can claim that! Every other well-known hand gestures' inventors are lost to the mists of time, but not the Metal Devil Horns! Dio did that.

Dio is also timeless. How do I mean this? Noone knows how old he is, not even Dio himself! My theory is that Dio travels through time fighting dragons and demons and stuff, rocking hard the whole time! Of course his age is unknown! That also explains how his singing is not just as good as it used to be, it's better!

Someone once said that Dio's music is better without the visuals from his videos. This person is clearly delusional and knows nothing about anything! Dio's video's are mini-masterpieces that only highlight his greatness. He uses a fantastic acting style that relies only on body movements which makes sense as there is no dialogue. I call it 'over-emoting!' And Dio over-emotes like only a true rock god can!

So, there you have it, a good summary of Dio's greatness! Never doubt, Dio truly is a rock god without equal!

*Photo from allmusicguide

**
I've never actually heard any Elf, but with Dio at the helm, it must rock hard!

3 comments:

Wanyas the Self-Proclaimed! said...

Do you know how awesome Dio truly is? I cannot change the size of the font for this post! Only Dio has such power over font sizes!

Well, him and that Masters kid!

Anonymous said...

i heard dio once took a monster crap and gave birth to tenacious d....

Wanyas the Self-Proclaimed! said...

If this little anecdote is true, it shows how truly great Dio is! Even his doody has the power to rock! Is there nothing this man can't do?